Dads - Lead the way! A letter from your Pastor

Dads, 

Again this Thanksgiving, my family will base our expressions of thankfulness to the Lord on the five "L's" of our family motto: Love, Lord, Learn, Laugh and Leave.  I recommend this very practical way you can facilitate sharing and prayer around your table this year.  You can tailor this to the ages and stages of your family members.

Where to start?  I introduce our time by providing a card with the five L's written on it. Prompt with a question related to each word, and then give a few minutes to allow family members to jot their thoughts down. (Young children may enjoy drawing pictures instead.)  As people share aloud, I record their thoughts and emailed them to turn these thoughts into prayers for the coming year.

Laugh. Begin with lightheartedness:  "What made you laugh this past year?" (An embarrassing moment, a favorite TV show, a favorite sport's event.)

Love.  "What do you love more at the end of this year than you did at the beginning?" (Sleeping in, school, daily personal worship, unhurried family time). 

Learn.  "What life-lesson did God teach you this year? (Maybe a lesson related to one of the Fruit of the Spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.)

Leave.  "What did you leave behind this year? (Middle school, a sport or hobby you used to live for but now have outgrown, a friend who was not such a 'good' friend, etc.). 

 

Lord.  Taking it deeper:  "How have you grown in your love of Jesus this year?"  Or, "What did you leave behind in order to follow harder after Jesus this year?"

Men, this may seem risky!  You may need to lead in an area that does not come naturally for you. Listen, it will be worth it. Inevitably, the five L's not only promote personal sharing about the past year- they help give direction to our discussions and prayer for the coming year.  Regardless of a family's season of life, much of our human experiences relate to Love, Lord, Learn, Laugh and Leave.  Keeping notes over the coming years will provide a book of remembrance to God's faithfulness in each others lives as we prepare our children to "leave" our homes and establish new families where Christ is central.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Pastor Tim Kirk

PS - Ask family members to TURN OFF all electronic devices during sharing and prayer time!

 

Thanking God with Empty Pockets

Thanksgiving. 

The purpose is in its proper name, but it's a day that can go against the grain of our nature.  

Thanksgiving is a spiritual discipline in that it trains or teaches us.  The Bible commands us repeatedly to "give thanks."  But what about when a thankful heart is not naturally emerging?  What do we do with those pockets in our hearts that hold fear, bitterness, shame?  During a time of thanksgiving, we don't dare bring that out because there is no gratitude to be found hiding there.  I battle the pockets.  Especially one that formed a few years ago.  

Thanksgiving of 2011 commenced with some anxiety:  A specialist was predicting that I had thyroid cancer and treated my neck like a pin cushion for a biopsy, the results of which were due the week after Thanksgiving.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-19 is a doozy of a Scripture:  "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. Do not quench the Spirit."  Well, with some tears, my family, particularly my dad, welled up with thanksgiving for my life!  (Aw shucks!)

While my results were negative, anxiety heightened:  My symptoms were eerily similar to some my dad had been experiencing. Dad got biopsied; the second week of December, learned that it was cancer.  Then, it was terminal cancer.  On January 10, 2012, my dad died.  My heart was like cargo pants- pockets were many and deep.

Approaching Thanksgiving 2012 was a bit terrifying at worst and dreaded at best.  How do you honor God in giving thanks when you are not thankful?  Hurt, fearful, angry- yes, but not thankful.  Enter spiritual disciplines.  When you have trained your heart to God's commands - especially in easier seasons with lighter burdens - then the discipline is in place in your life when the season is hard and the burden is heavy.  So that holiday, a trepidacious, now smaller family gathered for Thanksgiving. The unspoken was that we would "give thanks."  (I had 36 years of training on this one.)  With fear and a measure of faith, we shared around the table our thankfulness. Tears were flowing, but so was grace. Not every deep pocket was emptied, but it was a start. The spiritual discipline that honors God blesses us.  Our hearts need to give thanks. 

The lighter side to our Thanksgiving that year (because this post needs some levity):  A decision made that evening as a family (my widowed mom included).  Dad was fun!  We needed fun, as in, "God bring back some fun or we die of sadness."  And so the idea came that we should buy a ping pong table.  Black Friday, my mom bought one (who knew she was so good!?).  We played, and played, in laughter and smiles and spirits refreshed.  Even Great-Grandpa played (not too shabby!). 

Obedient hearts and ping pong were grace that God gave on that day, but the ongoing provision is the beckoning to empty my pockets. You and I were never created to live with hearts full of hurt.  The year my dad died, the tears I cried were fierce and many.  I saw pockets shoved full and then (sometimes) emptied before the Lord day after day.  But this spiritual discipline of coming before Him gave my heart and mind necessary training.  A  sensitivity emerged to the weight of heart-pockets harboring hurt, anger, fear. I saw how trustworthy Jesus is with vulnerability.  I felt how free I was to question and doubt and not be condemned by my God.

What does this have to do with Thanksgiving and our everyday lives?  The command to "give thanks" is a beckoning by a gentle Savior, not a drill sergeant.  We don't give thanks with tight fists and clenched jaws to a demanding master.  We come to Jesus, emptying our pockets, to bring the hard and hidden things into His light. To lay bare that which we would rather hide. Because He cares and is safe. When we trust Jesus enough to bare our souls and empty our pockets, there is grace.  Because to empty ourselves in the presence of Christ means to receive his fullness.   

From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after the other. 
John 1:16

Grace and peace to you this Thanksgiving.

Feed My Lambs (not "Baaaaa humbug!")

How serving others nourishes you, too

I like to think and can be guilty of over-thinking.  Awhile back, I was not thinking about feeding lambs, but the Holy Spirit led me to someone who had:  Charles Spurgeon.  Think with me!

To give some context, pretend being a beachcomber (humor me!):  Peter and Co. had just finished night-fishing with fishermen’s worst fear - empty nets.  But the Resurrected Jesus is on the shore and directs the men to the other side of the boat, and alas the nets were drug in bursting with the catch of the day!  “‘Come and have breakfast!’  ...Jesus...took the bread and gave it to them, and so with the fish” (John 21:13).  (Reminds you of another meal they had recently partaken of together, yes?)  Following this soul-satisfying fish-fry, Jesus has poignant words with Peter, the recent three-time deny-er.

“Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs” (John 21:15, ESV).

You know this account!  The Lord probes three times.  What I did not know is scholars’ teach that the first command to “feed my lambs” refers to teaching those young in the faith, both children and “baby” Christians.  Spurgeon emphasizes the teaching of children in the church.  

Do you know what catches my attention and fills my net?  Spurgeon maintains that [teaching and training children is a] most beneficial work to ourselves.  It exercises our humility and helps to keep us lowly and meek.  It also trains our patience; let those who doubt this try it.  Let me name some who experience this:  Mike and Doris Alderink in Preschool Community; Nene Akinbola and Randa Nader in Children’s Worship; Patti Fraley in Kids’ Community.  If you want big-souled, large-hearted men or women, look for them among those who are much engaged among the young, bearing with their follies, and sympathising with their weaknesses for Jesus' sake.

Be encouraged!  Jesus’ encounter with and command to Peter is for us all:  The fisher of men comes to find us; he beckons us to come to Him.  He himself nourishes us for the purpose of nourishing others!  What a Good Shepherd!

Listening for his voice together,

Sara Nist

All words in italics are direct quotes from Spurgeon, Come Ye Children.

To read the chapter, Feed My Lambs, copy and paste this link:  www.spurgeon.org/misc/cyc.htm

Assume The Ready Position!

"Feet spread shoulder-width apart, firmly planted.  
Knees slightly bent.  
Both hands on the racket, held out at the waist. 
Eyes focused ahead.  
Assume the ready position!"  

This summer, my sweet ten year old wanted to get in on the family action of tennis matches, so I sought to teach her the basics.  The Ready Position is fundamental to tennis - it all starts here!   In this stance, you are balanced, alert, and ready to receive what is coming.  Since this is not ultimately a blog about tennis, I feel an analogy coming, too.  Are you, er, ready?  

This fall, I signed up for a women's Bible study at church.  This was not a terribly difficult decision:  I had the time, I like spending time with women, and I believe the Bible to be good for me.  In the spirit of full disclosure, I should add that I was not especially enthusiastic about this particular study:  "The Promised One:  Seeing Jesus in Genesis."  Oh....Genesis.  Where it all starts.  Yes, I am familiar with Genesis.  You, too?  Gardens with forbidden fruit.  Animals marching two by two.  Sigh.  Enthusiasm waned a wee bit, but I plunged into the study nonetheless.  I completed weekly lessons; I participated in weekly gatherings.  In short, I assumed the "Ready Position!"

Now seven weeks into this study, I stand corrected.  This study has been anything but been there-done that.  "Seeing Jesus in Genesis" has required being firmly planted in the Bible for long periods of study time.  Both hands have been on the Bible as I flip from Genesis to Revelation and everywhere in between.  Re-reading Scripture like hidden treasure.  Seeing Christ with fresh and focused eyes.  Knees bending under the weight of who this great God is. Ultimately, taking the ready position of worship.

In tennis, you show up to play.  You are not in control of what is coming your way, but there is a stance you take to be ready.  This is analogous to the Christian life:  We have shown up to play - we have accepted the invitation to come.  God is in control and yet he has given us clear instruction on how we assume the ready position to receive.  It has to do with His Word; being in community with other believers in Christ; focusing on the person of Jesus and expecting Him to show up (asking Him to show up!).  We bow our knee in worship of the One who is and who was and who is to come.  

Game on. 

Great Expectations vs I Shall Not Want

Is there a particular word that you dislike more than others?  A cringe-inducing, grates-on-your-nerves word?  I have one.  If I use it in conversation or speak about it like I know, it's fine.  Even "spiritual."  But if it sneaks into my heart and mind uninvited, look out.  It's the "S" word.

I tend to have high expectations for life.  I resonate with Thoreau - I want "to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."  (Um....gross!?  But I digress.)  Adventure, fun, exploits, insight- did I mention fun?  I seek after a full life, well-lived.  It takes zeal and courage.  Can you relate to the courage needed when hoping for a new thing, a bigger thing?  The excitement that comes with careful planning towards your passion?  But the new or bigger thing doesn't always happen.  The prayer gets answered with a loud "No!"  Your expectation is not met.  When hopes are dashed again, discouragement can set in.  What then?  

For me, discouragement takes a nasty turn when it is not spoken aloud to a person of trust, wisdom, and compassion.  And for me to speak out loud my discouragement takes courage!  These feel antithetical:  If I am already discouraged, and it takes courage to talk, then the likelihood of me sharing it with another person is not exactly an ace in the hole. But there are Spirit-led times when I do share my feelings and doubts; God brings it to light, where His truth can reveal lies I have believed about my circumstance, or about my God.  But I cannot represent as one who does this well and often.  So many times, I keep discouragement to myself for too long. What then?  A critical spirit can take root.

This cycle of Great Expectations met with Acute Disappointment turns into Critical Spirit dawned on me this week.  A dear friend confessed having a critical spirit; I realized I am guilty of the same.  As I prayed over this, this cycle seemed to come into view.  I can trace back the lines of this in my life:  I think I see God's work on the horizon; I am watchful.  He seems to be on the brink of a new thing.  I pray.  I plan.  Baby, I am on board with the New Thing, yes and amen!  Then the new thing doesn't happen.  Or worse, the work seems to move from high-speed 5th gear, shoved abruptly into reverse.  No, no, no!  In my own power, I cannot handle the disappointment or its best friend, disillusionment.  So these joined forces form a critical spirit.  As in, I am on a fact-finding mission to determine causes and some one or thing is usually to blame (says my disappointed and disillusioned heart), and I am fairly determined to find out.  Trouble is, this usually becomes a vicious cycle. 

How do you break the cycle?  I could request a personality transplant.  I could become chronically complacent with low-expectations.  (Who wants to suck life's marrow anyway?)  How do I handle the disappointment?  Is it a sin to be disappointed?  I don't see evidence of that in the Bible, but I do know how damaging is a critical spirit.  The only way I know to handle this is by using the dreaded "S" word.

Surrender.  Oh, for the Christian to sing about surrendering all to Christ - so sweet, so simple.  SO ridiculously hard when we have hard-fought for something big.  But what else is there to do but surrender?  Being critical usually leads me to anger.  Anger is an interesting motivator and energy source for awhile.  Till its ugly side effects are seen or felt.  Till its obvious that it is incredibly depleting.  (Because the joy of the Lord is my strength, not the anger of my jaded self.)  When I have sought God's will and still experience acute disappointment, a critical spirit sets in unless I can share it with another, and then surrender.  What does that even mean?  I let go of what I wanted so badly.  I imagine opening my tight-fisted hands and dropping the thing (or the hopes of the thing) into God's hands, believing Him to be wise, and loving, and good.
 
This song cuts me to the quick.  Titled, "I Shall Not Want," it names our fears and unmet longings.  With them comes the reminder of the promise of God's goodness as recounted in Psalm 23, "surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life....I shall not want."

What Have You Become?

This is like a Choose Your Own Adventure blog post.  Did you read those growing up?  I binged on them one summer.  My paperback page-turning skills were mad that year.

Read the whole post or just the Truth Section or just the Dare Section.  So fun! 

Truth:  I am sad to see Christ Community's summer sermon series on the Ten Commandments come to an end.  I am still ruminating on the teaching; still surprised by the depth of this "good" book (and for the record, who coined that term?  What an underwhelming term for the inspired word of God!); still needing to look more deeply into this mirror, to face the necessary changes with grace and courage.

Dare:  How to Kill "Church Greeting Time" in 10 Easy Steps:
It's that time in the worship service again.  Check your breath, fix on a smile, and greet someone!  Only today you are instructed to "Confess your sins one to another during today's Greeting Time, and you will be healed.  Model this special confession after the Ten Commandments."

Take a deep breath, turn to your unsuspecting seat neighbor, and begin:

"Hi!  I am Sara.  I...

1.  set myself up as God,
2.  am an idolater, 
3.  abuse of God's name, 
4.  keep an unholy Sabbath Day,
5.  dishonor my mother and father, 
6.  am a murderer,
7.  am an adulterer,
8.  am a stealer, [not to be confused with Steeler - little preseason football humor],
9.  bear false witness against a whole lotta people,
10. and I am also a coveter.   I not only set myself up as God, I want other things more than I want God, too."    "What's that, you say?  You are looking for the closest exit?"

Truth:  A favorite quote from the sermon on the 8th Commandment, You shall not steal:  "You become like your offering.  The treasure you seek becomes the master you serve."  Here is what I wrote in my journal the next morning:  

• If I treasure my family's happiness above God, my family's happiness (or lack thereof) will master me.
• If I treasure my own comfort, then I will be a slave to pursuing what feels good.
• If I treasure Christ - living to make much of God - Jesus will remain rightly as my Lord and Master, and "all these things will be added to me as well"  ("these" meaning the kingdom of God and his righteousness, not my family's happiness and my comfort!).

Last summer I was working a lot on my landscaping- a good thing!  I love gardening and landscaping; it can be such a stress-reliever for me.  Outside, alone, praying about and processing life.  However, I had a distinct thought toward the end of the season.  Having devoted an inordinate amount of time, I said to myself, "This has mastered me!"  No triumph; little satisfaction.  Much regret.  This summer, my yard is a mess of weeds, my garden was laughable. The love of tennis threatened to master me, save that my tennis partners are not always available; alas, I have not been mastered.  A few close calls....

Dare:  "You become like your offering.  The treasure you seek becomes the master you serve."  What "treasure" is threatening to become your master?  

• Do you treasure nutrition for your family?
• Do you treasure education for your family?
• Do you treasure manis & pedis and highlights and lowlights..er...for your family? 
• Do you treasure social media to promote your family?
• Do you treasure cultural enrichment for your family?
• Do you treasure your well-appointed, crazy-high mortgaged home for your family?

You get the idea!  Consider what threatens to master you.  Often, where our thoughts go the fastest is the path to follow to find our true master.

Truth:  When we treasure Christ, we see what a gracious, giving, joyful master He is.  How do you know when He is your Master?  Here is a glimpse: When, after catching a child doing wrong and I harshly appoint consequences, Christ has not been my Master.  When the Holy Spirit nudges me to speak or act in a way out of character for me that blesses another, Christ has been my Master.  

Treasuring Christ is not a one-time, forever declaration.  Treasuring Christ is a moment-by-moment surrender to the Holy Spirit of God within- acting in obedience.  Treasuring Christ is devoting your time to getting to know the God who intimately knows you; devoting your talents to serving the God who has served you.

Dare:  Take some time to prayerfully ask yourself this question at the end of the day for the next several days:   

What did I treasure today?  (Where did I invest my thoughts, efforts, money, affection?) 
Could I stand before Christ and say, "You are my treasure!"?

And when you fail (because you will), will you preach the gospel to yourself? 
All my efforts could never be sufficient to treasure Christ in the manner He is due.  But grace abounds!  Jesus perfectly fulfilled the 10 Commandments because I never could.  Today, I confess to you Lord that I treasured _______________________ above Christ.  Forgive me! Thank you that you clean me up to present me blameless before our Father.  Thank you for treasuring me so much that you sent Christ for me.

For your glory!  
Amen.

 







 
 

S T R E T C H E D

Do you remember that time in the Bible when Jesus asks Peter, "Do you love me?"  Peter answers with, "Lord, you know I love you!"  Can we add a question mark to the end of his statement, because I imagine Peter offered it more like an indignant question than a declaration!  Befuddled Peter gets exhorted to simply "Feed my sheep."  Gulp.  What?  Take a deep breath!

Today, I sense Jesus asking me, "Do you trust me?"  The Peter-esk answer is, "Lord, you know I trust you."  Peter seemed surprised by Jesus' question.  You KNOW I love you!  My reaction is not one of surprise - more like leeriness or feeling guarded.  If pressed, my honest answer often includes caveats and conditions.  "Well, [pause] I'll definitely trust you in this circumstance, if you first provide in that way."  Or, "I can trust you this hour, but next hour I will probably not."  I am resigned to confess, "No, I don't trust you enough."

Trusting with conditions or not trusting fully may be like showering with your clothes on!  It doesn't work that way.  Or maybe it must and we will, in our human weakness, trust imperfectly all the days of our lives till we have crossed into eternity.  I don't know.  But I do know that I am being called to trust God with more, and to a greater degree. It feels like I am being stretched like a rubber band.  And when rubber bands are stretched without being handled with care, they fling in crazy ways!  But I have seen my God handle me with care.  God is my provider and this is a truth that has comforted and given courage.  Being stretched but faithless will find me brittle or broken. Being stretched while seeking to rest in my God - this is fertile ground for growth.  God's goodness does not hinge on my trust.

Take a deep breath!  "Oh for grace to trust Him more."